Being thankful is the focus of the holiday, Thanksgiving. (Pretty obvious, right?) We get that warm, fuzzy feeling when we spend time feeling thankful for the things in our lives. But I wanted to take a minute today to think about the difference between “thankfulness” and “gratitude”.
Now, I have to mention I told my husband what I was writing about– and I’m sure right now most of y’all are saying the same thing he did, “Ummmm… Thankful and grateful are the same thing!”
In fact, if you’re like me, you use grateful and thankful interchangeably in your day to day language but… in fact, they are not really the same… Let’s look at why!
Let’s start with the definitions. The Oxford Dictionary defines the word “thankful” as “feeling pleased and relieved”. The word “grateful” is defined as “showing an appreciation of a kindness”. Read More
So while they are nearly synonymous, the definitions would suggest that thankfulness is a feeling. While gratitude is an act of thanksgiving.
Thankfulness is rooted in the present, given for a good act or benefits received. Thanks is a response. Gratitude, unlike thankfulness, is a deliberate practice. Gratitude is the effect.
Let’s Take a Closer look at Thankfulness:
Simply put, thankfulness is the mindful appreciation of our surroundings. We can feel thankful for the things we have, for our friends and family, for the time and place that we live in, for being alive.
Thankfulness for most of us, at this time of year, is sitting down with friends and/or family to a meal, traditional or not, spread out across the table. We’re planning the holidays, perusing the sales, pouring ourselves another glass of wine… All the while, thinking to ourselves, “I am so thankful for what I have. Not everyone is as blessed as I am.”
In society, being thankful is to be aware and respond to the actions of another person. Usually, thankfulness happens in an instant … You say thank you right after someone helps you with something. Thanks muttered from the corners of our mouths after someone holds the door open for us. A card, written in reciprocation to a gift received. And of course, we prod our kids to respond in like with, “What do you say?”.
Thankfulness is polite. Automatic. Expected. Therefore, the words “thank you” and “thanks” have come to hold less meaning for us. Let’s face it, you will remember the guy who opened the door for you about as long as your 2-year-old plays with their new gifts.
What About Gratitude?
So society (and our moms) have conditioned us to be thankful through holidays and cards and manners. It’s easy to express thankfulness- but what about grateful? Being grateful is a different experience and thankfulness is only the first step. Gratitude expresses “thank you” not solely from our mouths but also from our hearts. Gratitude has feelings attached to it and is memorable. True gratitude transforms a polite response into an intentional behavior. Gratitude, unlike thankfulness, can grow, flourish, and be paid forward throughout a lifetime.
Gratitude over Thankfulness
So in this holiday season focused on giving thanks how do we redirect our focus onto making gratitude a steady part of our lives, 365 days a year?
I mean, our lives are busy! Marriage, kids, and bills… Maybe you even have extra responsibilities with work, going to school or are struggling with other family issues. The busy-ness of life distracts us from remembering the important things. Additionally, these hurdles cause us to forget to shift our focus to thankfulness– unless of course we’re reminded by social demand or holiday.
We hear attitude of gratitude but gratitude isn’t so much an attitude as it is a sense of being or a way of life.
So how do we actually gain that perspective and keep it year-round?
By not just thinking about how thankful we are to have the things we do, but also acting on that thankfulness. Our actions are what keep gratitude at the forefront of our lives.
Gratitude prompts you to give freely because you recognize your own financial blessings. Gratitude reminds you to call a friend just to check-in. Gratitude encourages you to pray with your kids at the end of a long, hard day when you just don’t feel like it. Gratitude persuades you to volunteer your time with a non-profit. Shoot, gratitude emboldened Harry to plot for Master to give Dobby a sock. And in the BibleMark 10:45 shows us that even Jesus showed gratitude, reading “For even the Son of man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
The people who do these things are not expecting a return of the favor but rather simply because they acknowledge their blessings– and want to bless others.
And fun fact, there are actually seven health benefits of gratitude that may surprise you! Gratitude can:
- Make you more patient
- Improve your relationships
- Ease depression
- Help you sleep
- Improve your ability to self-care
- Discourage overeating by boosting impulse control
- Give you happiness that lasts (Which is perhaps at the root of ALL these positive benefits!)
So how do we actually gain that perspective and keep it all year round? The key to gratefulness is simple— ACT. The more you take action, the easier and more routine it will become. It won’t take long for you to notice a change in yourself and others. So this holiday season I invite you to focus not only on thankfulness but also to integrate acts of gratefulness into your life.
My prayer this week:
Heavenly Father, as we move into this holiday season we pray we will keep our hearts humble. Help us to remember all the things and situations around us are ultimately temporary, as is this holiday season. Help us instead to focus on identifying ways to serve others year-round. Lead us to have not just an attitude, but a lifestyle of gratitude that will become a legacy to enrich the future of our families. Colossians 3:16-17 reads: “Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Let this encourage us that serving each other will not only build gratitude in us but also draw people to you, Lord. We pray that we serve NOT for ourselves, which, unreciprocated, can grow resentment, but instead to glorify You. In Jesus name, Amen